Mommy Life

I haven't posted in forever.  I have been so consumed with this tiny angel that has taken over my life.  She is absolute perfection.  Even almost four months later, I sometimes find myself just staring at her in awe of the fact that I helped create such an amazing thing.  I just hope I can do her justice.

Heading back to work was hard.  It's still hard.  It tears my heart out every day I have to leave her.  There are still days when I cry while I'm driving to work.  Thankfully summer is near, and soon angel and I will have loads of time together.

Bucko and I are doing well.  We seem to still be adjusting to life as parents.  We still haven't done a date night.  I know we need to, but finding the time and bringing myself to leave the baby have been harder than you would imagine.  Bucko has given me loads of opportunities to take a break, but I just haven't felt ready yet.  My head knows that time away is healthy, but my heart says remember how badly you wanted this baby?  Besides, she's only going to be little for so long.  I feel like I blinked and she went from my newborn to my angel that can roll over on her own and sleep through the night.  (Loving the sleep btw!)

I am excited for tomorrow.  Mother's day used to be hard.  It used to be one of the suckiest days of the year.  I used to cry.  It sucks to have a day that celebrates something you can't have.  

Last mother's day we were at the tail end of the two week wait.  The procedure didn't work the first time, and I wasn't holding out much hope for the second.  Mother's day was a hard day; especially when the girl at church tried to hand me a flower, and I had to say that I wasn't a mom.  Bucko was more optimistic than I was.  He said he was sure it was going to work this time.  So sure, he went out and got a pregnancy test.  This was a couple days before the doctor was going to do the blood test.  He encouraged me to take it.  I was terrified.  I took the test.  It was the faintest pink line I ever thought I saw.  I had to call Bucko in to make sure I wasn't insane.  Since it was so faint we weren't sure it was right.  We waited on pins and needles until the blood test.  Long story short last mother's day I found out I was going to get to be someone's mom.

This mother's day I can't wait to spend the whole day with my angel.  That little face is the best present ever. Enjoy your day everyone.  I know I will.