Things are pretty good around here right now, for the most part. Our little Buckaroo is doing well. At our last ultrasound she?/he? had a good heartbeat, and moved around while we were watching. It was pretty amazing to watch. Nothing makes it feel more real than watching that little tiny life move around inside you.
I'm doing pretty well too. I went to my regular doctor, and we worked on my blood sugar control. I'm checking my sugar more than the doctor recommends, but they've been good and it's working. It makes me feel better to know I'm doing everything I can to make sure this baby is healthy.
Pregnancy has taught me a few things. Morning sickness is a lie. I haven't been sick terribly often, but when I get sick it is in the afternoon. Having taken so long to get pregnant makes you worry about EVERYTHING. I worry if I'm sick. Am I too sick? Are we sure everything is okay? I worry if I'm not sick. Am I not sick enough? Is something wrong with the baby?
Pregnancy lesson number 2: Buying groceries is pointless. No matter what is in the house it is not what I want to eat, and most of the time I'm too tired to cook it. I've learned that the best way to fight the sickness is to eat what the baby wants, even if that means running out at dinner time, because Buckaroo has to have a tuna sandwich, and even if that means eating pickles followed by fruit cocktail.
Sometimes I feel useless. I feel like I have all of these things I want to get done, but I can't because I'm simply exhausted. My head says get off the couch and help Bucko out with the chores, but my body says no. Then I get frustrated when things don't get done. I feel like I go from feeling lazy to a rage monster in 2.4 seconds. I'm not really angry with Bucko, so much as I am that I am not doing anything.
Our dynamic is strange right now. I know he is taking care of me and stepping up. I get that. A part of me still wants him to make sure I do my part. I think Bucko said it best the other day. "I want to step up and lead, but this is a sensitive situation. I have no problem making you check your blood sugar or rest, but when it comes to making you do things it's much more difficult. If I ask you to do something, but you don't because you were exhausted or sick, I can respect that. You are growing a human. Give me some time to figure this out."
So that is where we are. Figuring it out.
It's about learning to let go and enjoy the ride.
Well TL I can tell you that waiting a while to get pregnant or having an ooops doesn't generally change the worrying about the baby. When I was pregnant I thought I have never felt more protective or more vulnerable in my entire life. Of course until you deliver and WOW! that is amped up more than you can ever imagine humanly possible.
ReplyDeleteHopefully your exhaustion will subside some soon, at least for a few months. As for your dynamic, just be honest and everything will work out just fine. If you really didn't do something because you were tired, so be it, just be careful when the exhaustion wears off and you try to convince yourself that maybe you still were a bit too tired. Oh sorry that is me and my arm! LOL.
Love to all 3
willie
Sounds like you pretty much have it figured out.......and with me the exhaustion lasted until the 4th month...as did the nausea..
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I think his response is really sweet. It makes perfect sense that he's feeling super protective of you and so that's the way his leadership is being expressed right now. And I'm sure you will hear this again and again...but nap now while you still can girl! LOL
ReplyDeleteYou both went through a lot to get to this amazing place, so just take it one day at a time and soak it all in:)
You're bringing me back though it was frozen corn dogs for me. No preparing dinner. I remember thinking that I could sleep for three weeks and I'd still be tired. That'll get better soon. Sounds like Bucko is being wise. You've got the rest of your lives to get your dynamic straight, right now put your feet up and watch some Colin Firth.
ReplyDeleteSo good to hear from you and to know that all is progressing as is expected. It is so very exciting to see your little one grow and to know that all of your sx'es are for a purpose. There is no right or wrong pattern, you will soon learn what is normal for you and this pregnancy. You both need to just enjoy this special time in your lives and know that you will eventually settle into a regular pattern. It is good that Bucko is doing his part, it is something that he will need to figure out as will you. He is doing the essentials right now, and when you are feeling more like yourself, you will step back into that role as well. You both already have a foundation from which to work from. Make the adjustments that make the most sense to you both and everything else will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteHi Tl, so happy to hear you and little Buckaroo are doing well. The pregnancy is bound to change your dynamic. I'm sure you and Bucko will figure it out:)
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done, but try not to worry about things you *think* you should be doing. Rest and remember you are doing a very important job right now ... growing a tiny human :)
Hugs
Roz
Everything is a process. You'll do fine just loving each other and taking care of the bundle you are carrying.
ReplyDeleteTL, I just think it's all great reading about how you are doing. I am so glad you are eating strange things like pickles, and having afternoon sickness. You realise, don't you, that you have now joined the most wonderful club in the world - that of the expectant mother. Just enjoy it all! That's the best advice I can give you. I am here at the sidelines cheering you on, as are all your other friends in Blogland. Don't worry about anything, just keep healthy for yourself and your wee babe.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Ami
I think anyone who has been pregnant can relate to all the feelings and changes you are going through right now. My Dr told me to try to remember that my body is doing the equivalent of climbing a mountain and back every day & to give myself a break & try not to feel lazy-tired just goes with the territory ; )
ReplyDeleteI can also very personally relate to the scary feelings of is there something wrong with the baby-the didn't subside for me until about 6.5 months & then came back as soon as I went I to labor-we are moms worrying is another thing that just goes with the territory ; )
Glad you are doing well over all.
We did practice DD through my last pregnancy & we had to do a lot if talking. & research & experimenting etc but it was a wonderful pregnancy & DD helped us both so much ! You will figure it out together ; ). Feel free to email me though if you like I would be happy to chat.
Scarlet ; )
This too shall pass my friend. The first trimester, your body is in shock and playing catch up. It will ease up. Not to mention.. I know the area of the world you live in. It's hot, humid and miserable right about now and that is a zapper in and of itself. Do what you can and then rest. One thing is for sure... it will still be there when you can get to it.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to pregnancy land. The tires will go away soon. It's just a phase of the pregnancy. You can control your blood sugar, I know you can. I had gestational diabetes with all five kids. It continued to get worse with each one but I did it. So I know you can. I remember that with my first pregnancy I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an orange for lunch everyday. It sounds like you are doing great. I am so happy for you. Oh and spanking is okay with pregnancies. It's the different positions that you spank it that could cause problems. Make sure your belly is in a comfortable position. The spanking may even help with the stress and anxiety. Hang in there
ReplyDeletecongrats on your pregnancy. I scrolled down a bit to see more of the story. Blessings as you deal with the ups and downs and all the hormonal stuff.
ReplyDelete