I love my life, and I love my job. Really, I do. Right now things have been really hectic and I feel like I've been struggling to keep my head above water. I have felt disjointed and disconnected. Lately, I haven't felt much of anything, except tired.
When the weekend rolls around things seem to slide back into place. Bucko and I are both home. That helps. We seem to have a routine. That helps too. Saturday we reconnect. We do a little housework, we have a lot of wonderful sex, and usually there is a spanking and a back rub involved. It's pretty awesome. I'm not complaining about it at all. Sunday, we go to church, and afterwards we have some lunch and hit the grocery store. More sex and spanking sometimes happen on Sunday afternoon. By Sunday evening, I'm feeling pretty okay.
Then Monday comes and I feel like I'm back in that same crazy place. I'm tired and cranky. I'm not feeling submissive. I question things I wouldn't normally. He's tired and working late. We still love each other as much as we did Saturday and Sunday, but the connection isn't there. It's a get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, go to bed, and repeat routine.
The other day I found myself considering leaving the door unlocked (a big rule in our house) just to see what would happen. I decided against it, but I considered it for a while. Today at the grocery store Bucko mentioned that I had been doing a lot more questioning that I usually do.
I feel like I'm going through the motions Monday through Friday, then I try to turn on the submission when the weekend rolls around.
Last year work wasn't this hectic, except for the month of May. We've had hard times before, but most of them revolved around my other issues and DD was such a part of the solution this issue never came up. I used to be better at turning off my work brain, and moving into being a wife when I'm at home. This year it feels like I'm in a constant state of running.
I'm struggling with how to keep my submissive mindset when life is getting in the way. I want to be more than just a weekend wife. How do you do it?
It's about learning to let go and enjoy the ride.
Hey TL, When it comes to work, I learned to say 'no'. I stepped back from all the crazy out of hours things I was doing, I refuse to take marking home and I make sure lessons for tomorrow and most of the rest of the week are set before I leave today.
ReplyDeleteWhen our principal asks me to take on a role that doesn't fit in my day I say no unless I can be released from classes to do it.
I have actually said to my boss that teaching is my second job....... my career is being a wife. She respects it and I find I am far less stressed and tired.
Callie
Learning to say no is something I have often struggled with. I am trying to step back on the things that are less important to me and focus on the duties that I enjoy doing. Thanks for the advice.
DeleteI agree with Callie - learn to say NO if it's possible at all. My boss came to my door at school and said he needed me to go to a workshop a few hours away and told me who I would be riding with and rooming with. I looked him right in the eye and said "I don't believe my husband would allow that." and I said no more. He was the one to stutter and summer and ended up saying "Oh, okay" and left. I love it. Wasn't' true, but it was fun. He's ask me to be on two more committees this year and again I've said 'No'. It's freeing!!
ReplyDeleteYou could also ask Bucko for a mid-week spanking, nothing elaborate or tiring. Just a short reconnection that you can both look forward to.
Saying no is difficult for me. It's hard to distinguish between what I have to do and what I want to do. I think I'm getting better at it. I think the mid-week spanking is a good idea. Hopefully we can try that this week.
DeleteThis is so hard. I know it is. I think the phrase of the day is... just say NO. The Man put his foot down about work. When things are so very stressful, ask Bucko for a stress spanking, or good girl spanking.
ReplyDeleteBucko and I talked about it. I think we have some new things in place that are helping some. This week was rough due to other things, but I'm hoping that it will help more on normal weeks.
DeleteIt probably doesn't help that you're at the beginning of the school year... my teacher friends tell me it takes a good month or so for things to slow down at the beginning of the year... could that be part of it?
ReplyDeleteFor us, we try to do a connection every night, even if it's just only for a few minutes. He has a name he calls me, and the minute he says it, I feel submissive. He'll come and put his hands on me and just let me know how much he loves me, and is proud of me for getting through a long day, or for cooking a meal for him, or what have you. He'll kiss me good night and give me a few pats on the bottom. Not sure any of these would help... but they help us when we can't get time together. {{{HUGS}}} But hey, either way, sounds like you're having amazing sex! ;) Now that's something to be happy about. :) ;)
The sex is great. I enjoy our TV time and such during the week, but I miss the more obvious DD aspect that seems to only come around on the weekend. We had a talk and I'm hoping that things will be better and easier now. :) Hugs!
DeleteWell this comment will come as no surprise as we were talking about it earlier. I know that you won't say no to what you consider your 'everyday' teaching duties. Not referring to what PK said. I know how much your kids mean to you, and saying no would be more stressful to you, as you would feel like you are letting them down. This is not a judgement, this is just the way that I know you are.
ReplyDeleteSO... here is what I ( and others who I have talked to) have noticed-When your husband and you work different hours ttwd gets complicated for sure. He works later than you, so yes you can have your 'submission' dinner on the table. You can think about him when you do it. Put that extra dash of love in there. All of these things can help...BUT in essence you are still going it alone. Yes, yes, we are choosing to submit, that is not what I mean. Being busy means you are not HERE. Here in blog land. Reading and writing. Now for some this isn't a huge deal, but for others, HERE is a place to feel connected. Connected to others who live a lifestyle like yours. It keeps a window of submission open. It is a 'trainers' manual for the athlete on how to cope on non-meet days. It keeps your submissive side engaged and connected.
I know you are tired after work and I know you like to zone out...but take 30 minutes and read a blog or two` instead of a novel or a game show on tv..WINK( what? I didn't want to put the name of the REAL trash you watch). Comment on what has worked for you in the past on a 'newbies' blog. It awakes something inside..it maintains the submissive heart. Heck even Barney was saying that he realizes now that not reading over the summer played a huge part in HIS disconnect. It also gives you a little 'in' to talk about submission with Bucko when he gets home. " You will NOT believe what an angel Willie is..." you know that kind of thing.
Again, maybe this isn't the case for you...pffft..I know right...just do what I tell ya would ya?
love ya
willie
oh and hey Bucko!
And here I thought you would be able to go a whole comment without mentioning Bucko... what was I thinking? LOL!
DeleteI am trying to be here more, because I do agree it seems to help me when I can talk it out with other like minded people. This week I had planned to do just that, then I got sick and it all went to heck. Here's hoping that the new week will make that easier.
I'm not sure about this angel Willie thing though... ;)
love and hugs,
TL
Hi TL.,
ReplyDeleteI hear you. It is so hard juggling work mode and submissive wife. I struggle with this too at times.
It sounds as though you have both had an extremely busy start back to work. Hopefully things will settle down a bit soon for you both.
Maybe some sort of routine when you get home at night to try and help ditch work mode for the day may help. Changing out of your work clothes as soon as you get home, doing something for Bucko etc.
Hugs,
Roz
That is a good idea. I used to change when I came home, but the last couple weeks I haven't done that. I'm sure "teacher clothes" contribute to my staying in teacher mode. I will have to try that this week. I'm hoping things are settling down. I hope things are going well for you and Rick too.
DeleteHugs,
TL
It's hard to maintain any mindset when things are hectic!!!! What if everytime you felt harried, you remembered to think something that made you feel that mushy/loving submissive feeling, like "I have an HOH who loves me" or whatever feels perfect to you?
ReplyDeleteThat's a good idea. :) Thanks for sharing it!
DeleteWe used to do this TL. I wish I could remember what we did that changed things. I felt like we both lived for the weekends and went through the weekdays disconnected, just because we were so busy. We are still as busy but it is easier now. I will rack my memory bank and see if anything comes to my pea brain.
ReplyDeleteI would value anything that came from your not-at-all-pea-like brain. At least the weekends are great!
DeleteIf your husband has the right to deside when you need to be disciplined, then he is required to let you live as a "wife" all the time. You should not have to have a hectic work schedule, unless, perhaps, seasonlly, if it is a family business.
ReplyDeleteHi 123Willow,
DeleteI'm not really sure I understand your comment to be honest. My husband doesn't really have any control over my work schedule since I work outside of the home. He's wonderful and supportive and trying to help me deal with the hectic things. Thank you for stopping by.
TL