Wonderful Men Run in the Family

I have mentioned before that Bucko gets his HOH skills from his father.  Bucko Sr. is one of those guys.  

He is different from Bucko in that he appears gruff at first glance, but if you get to know him he is a very sweet caring guy.  He is fiercely protective of his family, and it seems especially me.  I think it's because I'm a girl, and therefore very different than the two sons Bucko Sr. raised.  I remember when Bucko and I were getting married and one of the mothers made me cry.  He was so sweet and took care of me.  He was also very wise in what he said.

"Sweetheart, they mean well.  They are trying to help.  Just remember this in 5 years you won't remember any of this.  The only thing that will matter will be the 5 minutes where you and Bucko say your vows and are married.  The rest won't even matter anymore."  

He was right.

Bucko Sr. is not one to show his affection, and I love you aren't words he says often to his sons.  He doesn't call or talk on the phone much.  He's just not that kind of guy.  He shows his love by the things he does.  Like when he offers to come over to the house and help Bucko build a shelf or work on the yard.  His teasing and joking are his way of showing affection.  He may not say it, but he shows it.

Tonight was an example of that and I'm left completely flabbergasted by the extent of the effort Bucko Sr. has gone to, to insure his family will always be taken care of.

I went to the hospital tonight to visit my MIL, who has surgery today.  The boys were working, but I wanted one of us to be with her.  While we were visiting the subject of our fertility testing came up.

 I explained to my MIL that the doctor had a plan.  That the doctor was sending me for a test, and then we were going to take the next step.  She is very confident that she can make Bucko and me a little buckaroo.  (The weight that has been lifted with this news is no small thing! It feels so wonderful to know that we can fix this.  More on that later)

My MIL was thrilled.  She said she was confident this would work.  She said she was telling a friend she just knew she was going to have a grandbaby in the coming year. 

It got late and Bucko Sr. got up to walk me to my car.  He didn't want me to walk to the parking garage alone at night.  As we were walking he starting asking about the tests and treatments.  He wanted to know how much they costs.  I told him they were very expensive, and insurance doesn't cover it, but they had payment plans and we would work it out.  Between tax returns and what have you we'd make it work.

"You aren't answering my question.  How much do you need?"
 
Now, I should explain Mr. and Mrs. Bucko Sr. have always lived very simply.  They are not a lot of money, but a lot of love kind of people.  They are the kind of people I want Bucko and I to be like.  They know what really matters.

 At any rate, I finally revealed the costs of the treatments.

"Okay.  Merry Christmas.  If we need to do another test, or treatment after this let me know and we'll work it out."

"Dad... you don't have to do that."

"I know I don't." 

"We don't want your money... we would never ask you and mom to give us that." 

"You didn't ask... I offered. I know you can do it yourself, but you don't need to." 

He went on to explain that he is retiring in a couple weeks and has set himself and his family up VERY well.  He went on to explain that he wanted Bucko and I to come by the house sometime to talk about how he was going to set up the trust for us and our children.  Say what?  Not what I expected to hear.  

He went on to say, "We are family and in this together.  If there is a problem then we will all fix it.  I know you and Bucko wouldn't ask, but I don't want the cost of this to be one more thing that stresses you out.  We will take care of it."

He started to explain how he wanted to help take care of our future.  He won't allow us to simply sit around and live off his money, not that we would, but he's just not that kind of guy to give it away.  He did say this:

"I don't want you kids to ever have to say I hate this job, but I need the money.  I worked hard for 38 years so you kids could do what makes you happy."  That was the point I was ready to cry.

He then gave me a hug, a quick "love ya" (a big deal for him), thanked me for coming up to the hospital, and gave me cash to get out of the parking garage. (He wouldn't let me stop at the ATM to get it myself)

I have often told Bucko he is like his father.  Bucko has a deep need to provide for his family.  I hope he realizes now that when I say that it's a compliment.