Monday Musings- S**t my Bucko Says

Bucko is a funny guy. (No, sorry Willie, he won't be nekkid in this post.) I've posted a few things that he's said before on my blog, but I'm not sure I've done him justice.  So for today's Monday Musing I am going to share with you just a couple of my favorite Buckoisms.  Enjoy!


It took a while for Bucko to get into this whole, "I spank my wife," thing, so when the spankings started to get a little firmer I had some questions.

Me: Hey babe, that kind of hurt.  Have you been looking up spanking tips on the internet.

Bucko: Nope, I'm just that good.  It's called natural talent.

(He's so modest too.)


One day I was making meatloaf and I was patting a few spots where it was coming loose.

Bucko: Yeah baby, spank it like it didn't say Sir.

Me: Wow, seriously babe.  (insert you are so goofy eye roll here)  


I love raisin bread and was making some toast with it.

Bucko: How do they get the raisins in the bread, anyway?

Me: You put them in before you bake them, just like with cookies.

Bucko: But, cookies are made from dough, bread ain't dough.

Me: Um, honey?

Bucko: Oh, shut up.  I knew that.   (laughing the whole time he said it)


Tonight while I was making dinner I asked Bucko to hand me a knife to spread the barbeque sauce.  He hands me a spatula out of the drawer.

Me: I didn't really need all that honey.

Bucko: Sure you do, barbeque sauce is like meat frosting.   


After we left our wedding ceremony we were starving.  Just no time to eat in all that chaos, so being the romantic couple we are we swung by the only thing open at the time, Taco Bell.  After that we realized we needed some wine, but now that it was after midnight it was Sunday and wine wasn't being sold.  

Bucko: Alright, sparkling grape juice it is.

Me: Red or white

Bucko: Hell, I don't know.  Which one goes with Taco Bell?   


This one is gross and I'm sorry, but it must be included on this list.  I was reading blogs and came across something I just had to mention to Bucko.  Not because I wanted to try it, but because I was certain his response would be priceless.  Turns out I was right.

Me: Hey babe,  I was reading this blog and this couple was using a butt plug on him... what do you think? 

Bucko: Sorry babe, nothing gets planted where the dingleberry grows.

Me: Ewww OMG! Seriously!?  That is so wrong

Bucko: You asked.   (I guess I had that one coming.)


One of the most fun experiences for a couple getting married is registering for gifts.  Bucko and I will never forget our experience.  Neither will the lady at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.  We'd done really well with all of our choices.  I would pick a few things I could live with and then let him make the final decision.  (Hmm maybe it was a little pre DD, DD) All was going well until we came to the sheets.  I love the color pink and really had my heart set on pink sheets.  Bucko didn't like this idea, because he didn't want our bedroom to be too girly.

Me: Oh c'mon honey.  If we get this other comforter it will match and you won't even have to worry about the sheets.

Bucko: No, I do NOT want pink sheets.

Me: Really, c'mon honey they are really pretty.

This went on for a while with the sales girl who was with us snickering the whole time.  Finally we had to end it, and boy howdy did Bucko end it.

At the top of his lungs in the middle of the store Bucko yells,

"I'M NOT SLEEPING IN A VAGINA!"

The sales girl trying not to laugh looks at me and says, "Well he has a point." 

I only wish I'd be quick enough to think to say, "Well certainly not tonight."         

At any rate, we do not have pink sheets.  Happy Monday, Everyone.