Blogiversary: A Month in Review

So sometimes I'm like a middle school girl.  I draw hearts and flowers on my notes during meetings, I secretly love Call Me Maybe, and Taylor Swift, and I celebrate anniversaries by the month.  Today is officially my one month blogiversary.  In honor of this momentous occasion I thought I would talk a little about the journey that Bucko and I have been making this past month.

I have to start by saying I grossly underestimated the awesomeness that is my husband.  If you would have told me three months ago, or heck even a month ago that we would be where we are now, I would have said you were out of your mind.  I knew Bucko was an amazing husband.  He always had been.  He was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and all the things that make me a happy girl.  I just wasn't sure that leading our family was something he wanted to do, or would be able to do.  He has a very laid back nature.  In the past I have been the one to worry about things and get them done.  

Well long story short (Yes, I'm capable of telling a short story) I was wrong.  Bucko has really stepped up as the leader in our home and I have fallen more into a submissive role.  I still find myself worrying over things from time to time, but overall I'm less stressed.  When I start to question Bucko is quick to say, "I got this." 

Like all DD couples our introduction to this lifestyle had its ups and downs.  We struggled with consistency, acting out, and just generally finding our stride.  I was frustrated and kept trying to "help." In essence I was trying to tell him how to lead, and he was annoyed by my doing so.  Alright that went well.  New plan.  Shut it, TL.  You wanted this, so give him the space to find his wings.  I'm a teacher, I feel comfortable instructing.  It's a hard habit to break.  We are talking major challenge here.  It's a work in progress.

Then I really had to bite the big one.  I had to communicate.  I had to realize this crazy important fact.  My husband is not a mind reader.  I had to tell him what I wanted and needed.  So I did.  And he listened.  Then it started to click.  We talked more.  Not every talk was a long drawn out totally focused talk.  Those happened, but sometimes communication came in just everyday chats.  Things seemed to get better after that and I told Bucko so. That's when I noticed the change.

Bucko became a more confident and comfortable leader.  I became more able to step back and let him do his job.  I recently asked Bucko what brought on his sudden comfort with TTWD.  He said the turning point for him was when I told him he was doing a good job and I was happier.  Wow.  Really?  So to sum it up the thing that made my husband confident enough to excel was my praise.  I'm sure I heard that somewhere in a teaching class.  Now why didn't I think before to apply that to my marriage? The answer is... I don't know.

I've learned some valuable lessons in the past month.  1. My husband is awesome.  I knew that already, but I've come to appreciate it more now. 2. Words are a powerful thing.  Negative words can make our fellas feel like they don't do anything right, and keep them from feeling comfortable with the idea of leading.  What's the point if we still won't be pleased?  3.  A little praise goes a long way.  By saying Bucko was doing a good job, he now strives to keep doing it.  He wants to make me happy.  I suspect the same is true of all men.

Lessons are only worthwhile if you do something with them.  I intend to go forth in TTWD focusing on the positive.  Sure, I'll talk or tell Bucko if something is really wrong, but I'm no longer interested in pointing out every flaw.  Nothing in life is ever perfect, so to expect that of my man is unrealistic, but I've found the more I focus on the positive the more positive I get.   

Okay, so it was more of a long story long, but it's been a great month.  Here's to many more.  I hope!  Thanks everyone for reading and supporting me through this journey.

Love,
TL