I Stand Corrected

I want to thank everyone who stopped by my blog to comment and offer support.  Even those of you who just stopped by to read were a huge help to me over the last couple days.  Sometimes it's just nice to know someone is listening.

All seems quiet on the Bucko and TL front at the moment.  The last several days have been difficult, but as the holiday hustle and bustle have settled down we have been able to get back to life as we have come to know it.

Yesterday was a quiet day in the Bucko household.  I think after all the holiday cray cray we were ready for a chance to settle and just relax.  I found the best late Christmas present.  The West Wing is on Netflix watch instantly!  (Yes I know how dorky this sounds, but I loved that show and Rob Lowe is too cute for words.) I watched The West Wing while Bucko worked a half day.  When he came home he sat on the couch and watched with me.  Other than heating up a few plates of leftovers we didn't do anything.  It was heavenly.  

Except, of course, for the part that left me feeling disconnected from my husband.  After the Christmas struggles I wanted to feel close to him, and just sitting there didn't do it for me.  I wanted him to reach out to me, and I was disappointed when he didn't.  Yes, I know I could have reached out to him, but I was busy listening to that voice in my head again.  I think it needs a name like Bas's demon or Rogue's Dopp.  I'll be taking suggestions in the comments section.  I'm not sure "the little bastard" is appropriate.

That voice was busy telling me that things had gone back to the days of old and I was on my own.  (The more I talk about him/her/it? the more I think my name is perfect.)  I went to bed that night feeling sad, lonely, and dissatisfied.  This week was AWESOME. (You can see the sarcasm dripping off the blog can't you?)

Fast forward to today.  Bucko had another half day and I had a few errands to run.  I would be home first and Bucko asked me to get a few things done.  Long story short, I did my errands, but not the job Bucko asked me to do.  He came home and things appeared to be going much like yesterday.  That was until shortly after lunch.  Bucko asked me what was wrong.  (Took you long enough.... Thanks for noticing honey.  You are such a good husband.)  I told him I was feeling disconnected and discombobulated.  I was led back to the bedroom to be recombobulated.  This was a fairly light spanking.  Bucko is really in love with his new belt.  I'm beginning to think I'm going to regret buying him that.  A few other things were done to remind me that things were okay (That's for another blog post.) and we were off to do other things.

As we continued with getting the chores around the house done, Bucko began to notice the job (or lack thereof) I had done on the things he asked me to do.  

You didn't do anything I asked you to do did you?

Not really, no.

Go wait in the bedroom for me.  I'll be there in a minute.

Huh? What? Seriously?

Yes, seriously go. 

This led to a long discussion about why I hadn't done as he asked, and what was wrong with me.  I told him my fear of things going backward.  He assured me they weren't.  He said things that made a lot of sense (yeah, yeah I know all this could have been avoided if I'd talked to him.) He assured me that an off day or even an off couple of days was not the end of the world or the end of DD for us.  Then he did something I wasn't expecting.  He followed through.  He assured me that he was committed to this, and we weren't going backward.  This lecture involved a few tears on my part.  He gave a fairly light spanking, saying that he understood I had been struggling, but promised much worse if I blew him off again.  Afterward we cuddled and overall I felt much better.  I was thrilled with the fact that he followed through, and that he was understanding of the situation.

I guess the Mayans really were wrong.  It's not the end of the world as we know it.  Things are settling down and feel almost back to normal.  Time to pick up the mustard seed (again!) and move on.