A Peanut Butter and Communication Sandwich

We have all talked before about how much TTWD improves the communication between partners.  It really does.  I was reminded of that fact today.

Bucko and I have known each other most of ours lives.  We grew up together, we have lived together for eight years, and been married for three.  We pretty much figured after all that time we knew all there was to know.  There weren't any surprises left to come, and we were okay with that.

Today was grocery shopping day in the Bucko household.  This has been, for as long as I can remember, a chore we've done together.  That's right ladies he shops.  It is almost totally, because he thinks I spend too much money when I go on my own (impulse shopper here) but the fact is he goes.  We get done faster and it's time spent together.  Works for us.

It's also summer which means for me school is out.  That means I'm home during the day, and not eating lunch at school.  I'm one of those people that gets bored eating the same thing over and over again, so tons of leftovers really just isn't for me.  I wanted to get some stuff for sandwiches while we were in the store.  That meant we needed peanut butter.  

Heading over to the peanut butter without even thinking I picked up the jar of smooth peanut butter.  It's what we've always gotten.  Then I paused.  I reached for the jar of extra crunchy peanut butter.  I've always liked it better than smooth, but never got it because I thought Bucko didn't care for it.

The conversation went like this:

"What are you doing with crunchy peanut butter? You don't like it"

(Said at the same time as) "Nevermind you don't like crunchy peanut butter."

"Actually I like crunchy peanut butter.  I like it better than smooth."

"Me too." 

(Again same time) "Wait a minute... what?"

We went on trying to figure out how we could have been together so long and not known what peanut butter the other preferred.  The funny thing was we both were giving up something we liked better, because we thought the other didn't care for it.  If we had just talked we wouldn't have had to miss out on something.

TTWD is kind of like a that.  Before DD we were both eating an okay sandwich.  There wasn't anything really wrong with it, but it wasn't as good as it could have been.  We both wanted this type of relationship, but were denying ourselves because we were sure the other didn't want/like it.  Now that we've talked about it we are finding that more often we are getting what we actually want and not missing out on anything.

It's interesting when you think you know someone so well, and then you learn something new.  I guess there are a few surprises left after all.