It's the Little Things

Fair warning, this may come off as a whiny post.  I'm completely aware that I'm being over sensitive and making a big deal out of what is most likely nothing, but like the song says, "it's my blog I'll whine if I want to." 

I've heard more than one of us DD wives say on more than one occasion that it's the little things that make us love DD.  The things like him putting his arm around you to guide you away from traffic, or the protective way he tucks the covers around you while you sleep.

I'm here to say that it's also the little things about DD that can cause the most stress and strife.  Last night, I think (yes I said think, because I'm not really sure.  I'm totally aware that I'm not exactly giving my husband the benefit of the doubt, but just go with me on this.) I think I left the door unlocked.  This has been one of Bucko's biggest rules since the beginning.  He didn't say anything when he came home.  Now I know it may be because I didn't actually leave the door unlocked, but have you ever had one of those feelings where you just KNOW something happened.  That's how I feel about this.

I hedged and hinted that something might be off hoping Bucko would take that as his cue.  He did notice something was wrong, but I couldn't quite come out and say what was wrong.  I did tell him I was feeling off, which in our house is usually the high sign for pull out your paddle and fix it.  All Bucko managed was, "I can tell."  Now I know we are both tired, but it made me feel a little blown off.  I let it go (stew.)

Tonight I got home late.  I had an appointment after school, then I had to run to the store, and just when Bucko was calling to say he was heading home, I was pulling out the pans to start dinner.  I was feeling a little tired so I asked if he happened to get a sudden craving for tacos.  That's when it happened.  He gave a long suffering sigh and said, "Okay fine."  Now I was (mostly) kidding about the tacos, but something about the way he reacted has me very upset.  I would have been fine if he'd have just said not tonight and moved on.  The way he said it bothered me.  I felt like a burden.  I feel angry.  Like I said, it's the little things.

I had gotten Bucko a card while at the store hoping for a pleasant evening.  Now I know I'm being a brat, but the card is sitting in the drawer, because I don't feel moved to give it to him.  I know I should put on my big girl panties and talk to him, but I don't want to.  No amount of my telling myself to "suck it up, cupcake," is making me feel better.  I'm hoping by putting down my whiny thoughts I will feel better, but so far it hasn't happened yet.   He'll be home soon, and I'm not sure what I want to say.  Hopefully it will come to me.

On a side note, I am so sorry for being slow in responding to comments and such.  The last weeks of school are hectic and it is taking me longer than usual.  I promise I will get to them, tonight or tomorrow.